Be Warned: Gross Post

Today I missed a train due to diarrhea. It was like in one of those ex-lax commercials. I couldn't leave the bathroom, and I heard the conductor say "all aboard," and by the time I ran out to the gate, the train to DC was just pulling away.
But I felt better, and I bought myself an Augusten Burroughs book to read while I waited for the next train.
Sorry for sharing, but I'm a gross person and you're just going to have to deal. Or not read my blog.

Other gross things that I've experienced:

Vomiting through my nose. It burns so bad. And when you're done throwing up, you have to blow your nose and get out the remaining food particles and bile. Disgusting.

Bird pooping on my head. I was in 3rd grade, and I don't recall really washing it off. I think I just brushed my hand through my hair and called it a day. Little kids are so dirty.

Rabbit poop in my mouth. When I was in high school, back in the days I had to wake up at 6am everyday (how did I pull that off?!?)I decided to have a brownie for breakfast. As I walked past my rabbit's cage with the brownie, I dropped a few pieces. So naturally I picked them up and put them in my mouth. And then I chewed and pondered for a bit--detected something strange (hmm I don't remember putting walnuts in these brownies)--and figured out that I had been trying to crunch on my rabbit's poop. So I spit everything out and proceeded to gargle and brush my teeth til the taste was gone. Blech.

Okay are you totally grossed out and scared of me yet?